Love, Fate.

A few days back, I exchange stories with a buddy of my 'bout our love life. He told me how he got to know his current girlfriend from seemly no connection with her. From a series of fated event, they got closer and eventually, become lovers.

His story is like plots from novels and movies. Simple, yet touching and sweet. I'm also an acquaintance of his girlfriend and I feel he has found his soul mate. Not only they have the "connection" with one another, she is also very nice and caring girl. You lucky son of a bitch! You have hit the motherlobe of nice girls, I thought to myself. But really, I am genuinely happy for him.

'So how about you? With So many girls in your course, why you still single?' He asked me with a smirk on his face.

That was very good question.

It's not that I did not try. My recent dates and attempts that I had were not very successful. One of the reasons is that I can't really maintain to conversation. It's not that I can't talk. I do fine in a group and during presentations. But when it comes to one on one, I seems to become introvert. Other reasons include not observant enough, not gentlemen enough, so on and so forth. I feel that my main hurdles are nervousness and uneasiness. Whenever I go on a date, I become nervous and uneasy.

So I guess that makes me the Average Frustrating Chump.

When I told my friends 'bout my 'escapades', they will go 'Oh RX! You should have know!' or 'Man RX! you should have notice!'. Some will say,'Maybe you fate haven't come yet.'

Fate...

I did get close to have a girlfriend a coupe of times. But there's one woman that left an unforgettable mark on me.

A friendly and sociable person, she is soft spoken yet bubbly at the same time. She is those that are popular among the guys. At first, I didn't really think we will talk much as I am introvert back then. Our clique were also different. We began to talk more to each other during an oversea trip and from then, we kept constant contact.

There was once we hung out together in our old campus. She wanted to pass me a box of green bean cake she bought from her trip to Penang. We meet at her school's canteen around late evening. We chatted 'bout her trip and other stuff for a while. At the back of my mind, I kept wondering whether she had any boyfriend before as she always told us she doesn't had any.

'Can I ask you a question? Do you had boyfriend before?' I asked her.

'Why do you ask this question?'

'Well, you are an attractive girl and I find it a bit hard to believe that you don't have any before.'

She went silent and pondered on how to answer my question for a while before replying me.

'You know... There's fine line between friendships and...'

Before she could finished, she broke in tears. I was stunt. Not knowing what to do, I gave her my pack of tissue and let her have some moment. After awhile, she managed to get hole of herself. She told me she had this 'special friend' for some time now. But recently, their relationship went in a turmoil. It seems that the guy can't let go of his ex-girlfriend.

Not long after our meeting, she broke off with him. Like all 'nice guy' out there, I gave her support and lend her my listening ear. As time passed by, our friendship grew. We talked about almost anything. It feels like we have the "connection" between us. At times, we could chat on the phone throughout the night. Sometimes I'll even sing to her over the line. At times, I thought that I might have a chance with her. But I lacked the confidence to bring our relationship one step further. I always thought that I not good enough for her and that she wouldn't like someone like me.

After dragging for a long time, I've finally missed my chance.

One day, I chanced upon her hugging a guy. I tried to remain indifferent and greeted them. At that moment, my life seems to crumble around me... Okay, that's a bit exaggerated but that's somehow what I felt then. I was depressed and angry. Amidst my anger, I blamed her for leading me on. In my heart, I accused her of giving me false hope. But after the anger subside, I felt empty. I thought to myself that it is I alone were to be blamed. I blamed myself for being the gutless guy I was. That I did not cherish the chance given to me.

My failure in this relationship clung onto me for nearly 1 year before I could let go of the whole thing.

Right until now, I have yet being so close to anyone other than her. Maybe the real reason for my singlehood is that I'm still looking for someone with the "connection" like her. Someone like my buddy and his significant other, that fate will intertwine the two of us together. According to a Feng Shui master, he predicted that my serious relationship with women only starts at the age of 28. If it's true, that will be another 3 years of singlehood!!!

Bummer...

Task Force Wayang

Finally after all the assessments, presentations and proposal deadlines, I get to sit down in my ever-so noisy school library (imagine peeps playing cards games and scream here and there) to chill with my two classmates and blog before more exams, presentations and assessments begin. Okay, enough of my whining. This time, I'll talk a bit ' bout my sub-groupmates.

My class are divided into 4 sub groups, each having either 5 or 6 members. Mine used to have 7 of us but 2 left our class (Louise! I miss you! We all miss you!) during our 1st year. My sub-group consist of 2 guys and 3 gals: Aza and me. Val, Fifi and Dan2.

Each of us play a different role. While we're consider the slacker in our sub-group, Aza and I are the one that came up with most of the crazy ideas and implement them. When we banged into problems, 2 of us will analyse where or what went wrong and rectify them. Val and Dan2 are the quite ones, but they are the ones that do most of the hardcore research and at time sees things the rest of missed.

As for Fifi, I thought of her as the matriarch of our tiny group. Like a typical person whose zodiac sign is Dragon, she can be quite authoritative, minus the aggressiveness. Without her, things won't get done. Aza and I will always get nag by her as we always take our time to do things. Amid the differences of our character, Fifi and I are good friends and she is the one I'm closest to in my class.

For a group made up of the Slackers, the Brains and the Matron, I say we produced quite good results in our projects and presentations throughout the past 2 years. I've really enjoy working with them and I sure I still will for the rest our remaining school life...


This photo was taken at the corridor of the lecturers' office. The more I look at it, the more I do not think we're from Nursing course. While we were snapping like nobody business, one of the Module coordinator came in from the main entrance. I thought she will stop us from taking photo. but instead she said, "Aiyo. Why take photo here? Go outside take la. There got better scenery."

"But outside very hot leh..." I replied.

Hahaha...

On monday, we had our presentation on Community Nursing Module. We're suppose to come up with a programme on responsible family procreation and produce a proposal on it and present it to the 'sponsors'. However, we won't be implementing the programme at all. What all this module is about is the teach us on how to go about planning a health programme, that's all. Up until now, the song that I sang during my NS life keeps replaying in my head.


Wayang ah, wayang ah, wayang wayang!

Wayang ah, wayang ah, wayang wayang!

You say I wayang ah you also wayang ah.

Actually, everybody wayang wayang!


Really describe what I've been doing eh? Most of my friends wondered why do I need to do which thing in Nursing.

So do I. So do I...

We decided to go with the 'corporate' look so as to be more convincing. Each of us plays a particular position: Fifi as the Chairwoman, Val the Secretary, Dan 2 the Financial Advisor, Aza as the Marketing Manager and lastly, me, as the Logistics Executive. That sums up our 'Task Force'.

Even though we dressed up for the occasion, our presentation was far from perfect. Our classmates points out some key points that we had missed out and we tried to give rationales on why we did so. In other words, we're trying to cover our tracks.

Hahaha....

Actually, I'm glad that they questioned us. It really helped us to see the things we missed out. At least the lecturer who assessed us seems impress by our presentation. She told us that she won't give us a bad grade for our efforts. So I assume it will be at least a 'B' but I really hope it's an 'A'.

Random Thought: Less not equals to more. More not equals to more.

My Mum recently told me this, "I've bought these low cholesterol eggs. So now you can take more."

Right...

That doesn't mean that I can eat more eggs without having the worry about Congestive Heart Failure. Lets say these modified eggs contain 50% less cholesterol than the normal eggs. And lets say that in normal circumstances, I'll just take one eggs due to health consciousness (I'm not, really. I say it just for illustration purposes). And because of the '50% less' label, I happily ingest 4 eggs, I take in 50% percent MORE cholesterol that I normally take. So it really defeat the whole purpose of being health conscious.

Some goes for those stuff with low in whatever and high in something. If you see any cooking oil label 'low cholesterol', it's crap. Once you take in any form of fats or oil, your own body will produce cholesterol.

Oh, one other thing, remember the Dove body soap advertisements shown recently? It says that other body soap contains like one small teaspoon of moisturizer while they claim that their's now has 60% more. Sound like a big improvement eh?

Wrong!

If my interpretation is correct, they mean that they have 60% more compare to their competitors. That means each bottles contain barely two teaspoons of moisturizer!

What am I get to with all this rubbish that I've talked about?

Advertisements are bullshit.

Reaching the End.

Have you ever misses a place before even you're leaving it?

This is what I felt about my life in NYP on Wednesday night, after CO practice. I had to sent my classmates some power point slides before the night was over. So I stayed back for awhile, outside of LTK 2 to finish what I intended. It was a quiet, windless night. The benches outside of the LT were deserted as it's already reaching 10pm. As I was waiting the uploading to complete, while listening to Olivia Ong's 'First of May', something stirred inside of me.

In the beginning , I was afraid that I'll be an outcast of the class, like what I've experienced in my previous education institute. However, with the aid of Louise, I was slowly accepted and get along well wit the class. After Louise left us, I was 'involuntarily volunteered' by Jon to be the next class-rep. No one in my class object to it except me, of course. All I can say is that I don't hate the arrangement and I don't like it either. Personally, I don't think I've did a good job. However, I'm able the scrap by somehow.

By 1st year's 2nd semester, I've gotten closer to some of my classmates, especially Nana. Maybe it's due to the age difference, or the lack of it (though she claims that she is 'forever 21', she's actually older than me by 1 year. Wahahaha!). We helped each other a lot academically and sometimes emotionally. Indirectly, she and other also helped me to get comfortable around girls. You have to understand that before coming to NYP, I was in the Army. Other than the guys and the 'girls wannabe', I've got minimum contact with the opposite sex then.

Around the same time, I've lost 5kg and change from a countryman-look-alike to a Ang Mo/Malay/Pakistan look alike. But there's always people who thinks that I'm from china. It's a welcoming change as I feel more confident in myself. Of course, I'm still a long way from my ideal weight. 20kg away!

The things that I will miss...

Taking photos with my classmates in school.

Joking around with Aza during skills lab.

Fall asleep in lecture and having Nana to poke me awake to copy notes.

Having group meetings and doing 'filming' with my sub-groupmates.

Having 'Man's talk' with Sha and Aza in the north canteen, over a cup of teh-O.

Having Nana and Fifi scolding me 'idiot'.

Teasing Da about her height. Eg, can't see anything below my eye-level.

Staying back in the library until 9pm to enjoyed the peace and quiet.

Walking down SHS pathway with Nana and the rest of the gang.

Walking down SHS level 2 pathway that full of SHS students(mostly girls in mini shorts).


These are some of the stuff I can think of for now. I feel very fortunate to be in the tutorial group that I'm in now. And in couple of months from now, my life as a student will come to a stop. Not long after that, I'll become a full-fledged nurse. My classmates and I will go on our separate ways. Though as stress as it is, school life in NYP is one of the most enjoyable phase in my life so far.

Back to TPCO Part II

And so, tonight marks the end of TPCO's annual concert. This year's production have quite a variety of different performance. We have Chinese Dancers, Sze Chuan Face Changing artiste, a singer, and alumni soloists. All were accompanied by TPCO, where the face changing artiste drew the most applause from the audience.

After the sound check, the director of this production gathered all the TPCO member to the audience seat. He announced to us that the feedbacks from yesterday's performance were very good. He also commented that the orchestra displayed an energetic and youthful spirit, and the soloist gave a wonderful performance. His speech seems sincere and I feel that it makes many motivated and ease the nervousness of them. I said many because some of us are already 'old bird'. Stage fright something that we had already overcome.

Wahahaha... *nose tilt up and laugh out loud*

Tonight's performance went on smoothly. I didn't get to take much photo because I'm too lazy to go snapping around. But I do get a chance to take some with my bubbly, fun-loving, fellow bassists.

Yong Sing, Lih Yee aka Lychee, Me aka Uncle Fester (according to Lychee)

Well done Peeps. Farewell. Until the next concert, take care.

Back to TPCO

Finally! I'm able to help out in TPCO's annual concert this time round as I'm having my holidays now and I accident and injury free. From 2004 to 2006 I'm serving my NS, last year I twisted my knee a few days before the show. W00t!

Well, today's performance went by quite smoothly, except the concert starts half an hour late, and I make a couple of mistakes here and there, and the Mcees made the wrong announcements, and some of the performers forgot the re-enter the stage. The TP staff were satisfy with the results, so it's not so bad, I guess.

Better luck for tomorrow...

My last concert with TPCO was 'Popin Moods' and that was a long, long time ago. Most of the member are new faces to me. I know some which I met from elsewhere but the alumni from my batch who came back to help only left with me and JX. Some still came back as audience though.

My first participation in public concert was in TPCO. Back then, I'm still in my secondary school life. Stepping into the studio and the auditorium brings lots of memories; orchestra experience that I've gained from there, friends I've acquainted, responsibility entrusted to me. Some pieces that we performing in the current concert are also the ones that featured in the first concert that I'm in.



This is the picture taken from TPCO's friendster account. It's take after the 'Popin Moods' concert. Seriously, I don't remember been and the centre of the photo, posing like some British secret agent, but it's funny nonetheless.

I should feel nostalgic. However, I only felt distant, like it had been very long time.

Oh wait, it HAD been a very long time. Hahaha...

Maybe it's because I'm still active in other Chinese Orchestra. Well, at least the Peeps are friendly and I'm glad the Cello and Bass section are still going strong.

Keep it up!

After the concert, I went for supper with the alumni from my batch at 老麦 (lao mai). It's what we called the Mac Dee's that is around the neighborhood. Not sure if the new-blood still use this term... Like the old times, we went there for dinner or supper, some times even had committee meetings there. It felt nice to have everyone to gather at the same old place, doing the same old stuff like chit chat across the table, making fun of one another, at the same old timing and atmosphere.

Yup, nostalgia sure fills the midnight breeze, but I'm sure ain't weeping... *snif*

Like . Real

While going through my hard disk in preparation for a format. I came across my sud-group's latest ICA presentation video on self esteem. The style of the video was inspire by the Channel News Asia's documentary 'Get Real'. So after much thought to the title of our 'show', AZ, with much pun intended, came up with the name 'Like Real'.

Though not the longest video I've made, it the most difficult and time consuming to me. The most ambitious on my to to come up with something resemble the real TV show, but using the bare minimum equipment and software.First we have to come up with the script that somehow fit into our case study: Joshua, 21 years old, contracted STI (Sexual Transmitted Infection) through a one night stand. As a result, his self-esteem was greatly affected. Discuss how STI affects Joshua's self-esteem and how his parents may help to improve his self-esteem.



I know, i know the quality of the production sucks. But hey, it's meant only to look like the real thing, nothing fancy okay...

So, here's my list of equipment and software I've used for producing this video:

1. A regular digital camera for filming.
2. My Sonyericsson W850i for voice recording.
3. Office Powerpoint for imaging 'cause I don't have and don't know how to use Photoshop.
4. Some wave editor to convert the sound recording.
   
5. Microsoft Windows Movie Maker for piecing everything together.

I'm not gonna talk on how I use them 'cause I'm too lazy to explain, but trust me, it would be easier if I have the proper training and equipment for this kinda things (I'm a future nurse, you see). Anyway, I like to thank all my dear sub group member. They have been very supportive for my wacky ideas. Thanks Peeps! AZ's girlfriend watched it and commented that it is so 'over'.

Well, it's suppose to be 'like real' what...

Familliar Ground: Delusioned Menace

It seems that I always around when the security guards are activate to assist in handling difficult patients. This time, we got an alcoholic came in for seizure. During his first day of admission, he seems rather fine to me. Other than having an unsteady gait and sleepy for most of the day. We did not get any trouble from him.

As the days gone by, he became delirious. On the second day of his stay, he threatened one of the staff. Using the IV spikes from his drip, he told her not to touch her, or else. During the weekend, he absconded from the ward. He was found by a passer-by somewhere within the hospital's premise, asking around where he was. To prevent any injury to the staff and himself, a body restraint was order by the doctor to be worn on him.

During my shift, he would ask anyone for cigarettes. He would also find all sorts of excuses to get out of the bed and body restraints, be it logical or down right senseless. Once, while I'm attending to the patient opposite of him, he beckon me over.

'Hey... There's something at my hands...' he slurred.

'There isn't anything there, sir,' I replied, knowing he's up to his old trick again.

'No... There is... Take it off from me...' he said, while struggling with the restraint.

'What did you see?' I asked, patience slowing draining from my body.

'I cannot see la! Take it off...'

'Then how would you know something is AT for hands?' trying to sound as calm as possible.

Sometime I wonder whether he is really delusion, playing punk or acting. Towards the evening, a physiotherapist came to assess his walking ability. After the assessment, he refused to return to his bed. I went over the help coaxing him back, but without success. At one moment, he demand to see the the doctor. Then the other, he wanted to get out of the ward to smoke. After a while the ITE student came to aid. However, the patient stands his ground. This time, he wants to call the police. The CISCO security guards were activated. When they were on their way. The delirious guy turned to me and said, 'I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to talk to my enemies.'

'Now I'm your enemy?' said, feel a bit amused.

'Yes, you are my enemy.'

'Why is that so?'

'Because the sky is high.'

'Because the sky is high...' I repeat after him, perplexed by his reply.

Once the guards arrived, he demanded to go to the toilet to pass motion. Along the way, he again asked for cigarettes. In the toilet, he kept asking for a smoke despite the guards warn him that smoking is not allow within the hospital premise. Not getting what he wanted, he tried to threaten us that if he can't get to smoke, he'll beat us up. One of the guards counted the number of people in the toilet (six of us by now) to him and challenged him to try it.


Finally he gave in the went on doing his business. It took him more than half an hour to finish and he slowly fumble with the toilet paper. The guards who ran out of patience ordered him to quicken whatever he was doing and get back to the ward. The whole incident last for almost an hour. What make use most frustrated was that he choose the busiest period of the day, where medication needed to dispense, parameter to be taken and dinner to be serve.


Later the security guards told us that we're the well known ward for this kind of situation. Almost every week they're activated to come to this ward. Well, now at least you wouldn't be running out of job, I thought to myself.

Familiar Ground

For the past three weeks (plus one additional weeks before exams. I consider it a 'refresher course' week), I was posted back to the same C class ward that I've been during my year one, semester two.

For more information on my previous experience there, please click here, here and here.

One thing's for sure, working there is like a love-hate relationship. Love it because there will not be short of things and opportunity to do and perform. Hate it because of the exact same reason for loving it: I can never finish my work. Still, working there has been fruitful and enjoyable for the most part.

This time round, I'm no more the headless chicken I've use to be. Of course, I still have to run around the ward to find the one-and-only pulse oxymeter. Most of the staff there are still as friendly as ever and I'm able to adapt the ward routine easier and faster. Although I'm unassigned to a different room, I'm still able work with one of the cute staff nurses from my previous attachment there. But then again, there are more cute nurses in the ward now.

Hahaha...

For the first 2 weeks, I have a 'Shadow' following me and the other Nursing Student around the room. You might ask why do I quote this person as a 'Shadow'. That's because she follow us around but do nothing significant and speak little for most of the time. Though she relates to the patient quite well, she makes bare minimal communication with the staff and students.

From time to time, I'll see her either flipping through the case notes and the clinical charts, or stand beside someone whose doing a procedure. She's like some inspector or manager who was posted to the ward to either spy or keep an eye on us. Once, one of my classmate came over to mt room to look for some stuff. The first thing he said to me was 'what is she doing? Posing ar?'

Maybe she trying to redefine the meaning of 'Contact Precaution'.

There was one time when I'm helping out serving medication with a Staff Nurse, she just stood there and observe. So I turn to her and ask, 'Have you learn to serve medication in school'

'Y-Yes.' She replied, sounded a bit startled.

'So do you want to give it a try?' I offered.

'..........'

I give her some time to consider it. However, the next time I turn back to her, she was gone.

She went for break.

I wonder why she bother to join nursing.

That's all for now. Maybe I'll write more when I got the mood.

Ciao.

Damo's Twenty First Birthday

They say a picture speaks a thousand words. So let this collage do the talking.

Oh by the way, today is his actual birthday. So Happy Birthday and Happy Lunar New Year to you Brudder!

Farewell

Today, I've lost a friend to a car accident.

The news came to me as a shocker as he's only 18 years old. Even until this moment, part of me still can't accept the fact that he left us for good.

After my BCLS theory test, me and few of the NYPCO members took a cab to the Mandai crematorium to bid him farewell for the last time. The ritual was simple. After some chanting from a monk, everyone walked pass his coffin and then he will be cremated. There will be no funeral. The sad reality hits me suddenly as I walked him while holding back my tears.

He has really left us.

The scene at the viewing hall was heartbreaking. His mother weeped endlessly, while calling her son to come back home and not to go into the flame. By now, I could no longer stop my tears from rolling. His ashes will be scatter into the sea. His mother told me that he is still young and had not see the world enough. This way, she hope that he will be able to go anywhere he wants in his afterlife.

We return to school after the ceremony and gathered in the practice room. Mike gave a speech after 3 minutes of silence for our dear friend. He too had been devastated by this unfortunate event.

Though I'm not close to him, both of us will at least say hi-bye. At times, I'll tease him when the chance present. He's a cheerful chap. As what I can observed, he always brings happiness to those around him. Ever so energetic, so cheerful.

So full of life.

We have not only lost a good friend, but also a talented musician. What infuriates me is that he have to pay the price for someone else's mistake. However, what was done cannot be undone. We could only pray for him and his family members.

Farewell David. You will always be the member of NYPCO and EVCO. You will always be with us in our hearts.

May your soul find peace.

Reunion

Today I had my dinner with Meow, Stuckup and a friend that I haven't seen for at least 5 to 7 years: Bel. The last time I remember talking to her is during my 1st year in NYP. One day, I accidentally dialed her number and we chatted for a while. It's quite an awkward for me as I don't really know what to say. We haven't been in contact for a long time then. After that conversation, we didn't contact each other until I started Facebook-ing. I found her through Stuckup's profile and we've been sending messages to since then.

It feels great to see her once again after so long.

After our dinner at the Soup Restaurant (I called it the high class 'Zhi Cha'), we went to Hagen Das to chill out and do some catching up. Talking to her brings back some fond memories during my time in TP... After some many years, she still looks the same. Which is a good thing, meaning she still looks young.

Hahaha...

And here my 1st collage for the year 2008!